This one might not need the last two lines.
Alternatives
A young lady sits with her yellow pad
at the picnic table, pauses, writes, pauses,
then writes again. Is it a love letter,
a shopping list, a legal pleading, a poem,
or some other inventory of desire?
(Why do we not recognize or remember
some wants and needs unless we write them down?)
Here's a different version that leaves more up to the reader. If anyone has a preference, let me know.
Inventories of Desire
A young lady sits with her legal pad
at the picnic table, pauses, writes, pauses,
then writes again. Is it a love letter,
a shopping list, a lesson plan, or a poem?
Alternatives
A young lady sits with her yellow pad
at the picnic table, pauses, writes, pauses,
then writes again. Is it a love letter,
a shopping list, a legal pleading, a poem,
or some other inventory of desire?
(Why do we not recognize or remember
some wants and needs unless we write them down?)
Here's a different version that leaves more up to the reader. If anyone has a preference, let me know.
Inventories of Desire
A young lady sits with her legal pad
at the picnic table, pauses, writes, pauses,
then writes again. Is it a love letter,
a shopping list, a lesson plan, or a poem?
I prefer the first one as it seems more complete to me.
ReplyDeleteI also like the last two lines, but they should be presented as a different poem; conclusion of "alternatives" maybe.
I agree with Evan. Cpuld youplease read more of YOUR Poems for poem of the day. :)
ReplyDeleteI like the deletion in the second version of legal pleading, but I liked the phrase in the first--inventory of desire. I would love to see this poem go further.
ReplyDelete