The Beat Goes On

Here's a short poem, once again in two different versions.  The first is the one I've tentatively decided on.  The second includes some options in parentheses that I considered for different sections.  The small words (prepositions and conjuctions especially) gave me fits as they would shade the meaning of the poem in one direction or another.  In addition, I also went back and forth between whether the poem is too obvious and heavyhanded or too obscure and indirect.  It is so hard to judge all these things from a reader's perspective, so I just went with what sounded best to me.

                                                      The Beat Goes On


                                             At this raucous concert we call life,
                                             we all have obstructed view seats,
                                             but we must always, always, always
                                             stand and look toward the distant stage
                                             and listen to the music.

Here/s the version with alternatives in parentheses.Let me know if you prefer some of the alternatives.

                                                      The Beat Goes On  (Rock On)

                                        At (for, in) this raucous (rock) concert ( eliminate "we call life")
                                        we all have (add "distant") obstructed view seats,
                                        but (so)  we must always, always, always
                                        stand and look toward the (eliminate "distant" here) stage
                                        and listen to (for) the music.


Note to foreign (and younger) readers.  "The Beat Goes On" is a rock song from the 60s about the rhythm of current event and how they keep unfolding.