Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I Can't Believe It's Not Butter

Sometimes it pays to read the Nutrition Facts.  At least, looking at the facts behind America's Favorite Buttery Spray gave me something to write about.

                                                           I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter,


                                                      but I can believe it’s the Platonic idea
                                                      of butter, preserved in plastic, to be
                                                      sprayed on pasta or bread- ethereal
                                                      incense for some sacred ceremony.
                                                     “No calories, fat, sodium, carbs or
                                                      protein,” the label proclaims. Nothing
                                                      to prove it exists, yet it is there to be
                                                      savored: butter unchurned to its purest
                                                      essence, distilled from ingredients
                                                      the Magi could have carried: xanthum,
                                                      lechtin, and carotene. Each spray, a leap
                                                      of faith, but the proof is in the topping,
                                                      for then 15 milligrams of sodium
                                                      appear when poured, not sprayed, on potatoes.
                                                      Something comes out of nothing, defying
                                                      reason as all everyday miracles do:
                                                      the wine bottle glugs before the wine pours
                                                      out, fireflies burn without heat, and sea mist
                                                      hovers over our daily wonder bread.

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