Saturday, January 22, 2011

Romeo and Juliet: The G-folio

I'm not sure this is a poem, but I got thinking of what a Shakespeare text might look like if subjected to targeted advertising, a la Gmail. etc.  (Sorry about the spacing at the beginning.  Can't seem to fix it.)
All the Shakespeare text is supposed to be on the left and the Google ads on the right.  That's what it looks like in Word and in Preview, but every time I copy from Word and post this, it intermixes the two.  My apologies.  If I find time to re-type everything directly into the blog, I will.  Until then, sorry about the mess.

                                                                  
ROMEO                                                                                     More about:
He jests at scars that never felt a wound.                                      1001 Jests: Set the table on a
                                                                                                            roar with Yorick’sYuks.
                                                                                                      Plastic surgery.  Get rid of
                                                                                                     unsightly scars at scarsbgone.com

JULIET appears above at a window

But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?              Window repair.  Broken windows
It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.                                          are a pain. Click here for quick relief.
Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon,                                 Sunscreen: Avoid the sun’s
Who is already sick and pale with grief,                                     harmful rays. Stay fair.
That thou her maid art far more fair than she:                              Careers in astronomy: The
Be not her maid, since she is envious;                                              sky’s the limit
Her vestal livery is but sick and green                                           Maid service: Call Maid in the
And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.                                                Shade.
It is my lady, O, it is my love!                                                        Knit Wits: Learn to cast off
O, that she knew she were!                                                               and other purls of wisdom.
She speaks yet she says nothing: what of that?
Her eye discourses; I will answer it.                                              Prized Pupils Eye Care: Visit
I am too bold, 'tis not to me she speaks:                                           our site for sore eyes.     
Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven,
Having some business, do entreat her eyes                                  Earn an M.B.A. at home: We
To twinkle in their spheres till they return.                                      make business a pleasure.
What if her eyes were there, they in her head?                           Ned’s Head Shop: The longest
The brightness of her cheek would shame those stars,                journey begins with a single trip.
As daylight doth a lamp; her eyes in heaven                             Lamps R’ Us: Lighten up today!
Would through the airy region stream so bright                        Free streaming videos: Megahits
That birds would sing and think it were not night.                       in megabits.
See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!                          
O, that I were a glove upon that hand,                                      Smell the Glove: Get Spinal Tap’s
That I might touch that cheek!                                                  classic LP at www.lostwax.com

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